What Should You Do, If You Feel Depressed?

Hello everyone!

It has been a long week for me. And as you can understand from the title, I was feeling completely depressed and miserable.
To be honest, I don't know why I felt like that, however, it wasn't so easy to solve my problem.

But of course, first of all, I have to explain what my problem was, to you.
So, I believe that there were some days in your lives that you can't figure out what do you really want and for what purpose you study and struggle. These 2 or 3 days were like that for me.

I know that I'm at the beginning of my university education.
However, this department "MOLECULAR BIOLOGY AND GENETICS" has been my dream for almost 5 years. And I gave up different kind of things for this purpose during my life time. So, I was expecting that everything will be amazing! I don't try to say : easy! No! Not easy but different from high school. I don't know, maybe it is just because that I'm in my first semester at the university, but I really don't like much the classes that I have to get. What I mean is:  I get this semester :

Physics,
Physics Lab,
Chemistry
Chemistry Lab,
Mathematics,
Biology 101,
And Biology 111 (in which we discuss about the scientist and their researches who gain Nobel Price)

I know that if I want be a scientist - a good one - I have to know about every type of science. It is okay and I believe that so! As a result, I study for maths, physics and chemistry, too. But the problem that I have is about the biology classes! When I chose this department, I believed that biology classes would be different from the high school. I just thought that we wouldn't just memorize things and wouldn't learn just from different Power Point Presentations like in  high school. I don't know is that just because the first semester or not, but it is disgusting! I always study for maths and physics, and I don't really learn anything in my biology classes!!!
I HATE THAT! Because I love BIOLOGY so much and I really want to do something new in the future! But how can it be possible in this way? :S

I don't try to say that all my classes so easy etc.. NO! They are not easy. On the contrary, I really feel that I have to study all week to get a high GPA. But for what purpose?
And in addition to that, I don't believe that's because the topics in biology, too. Yes, I learned about these topics in high school and read a lot about them. However, it is not important. I didn't choose this department when I don't want to learn about these things more and more times! That was what I want actually!! I just wanted to learn about the topics that I knew before but in a different way. I hoped this time will be more complicated and not just memorizing or something! I JUST WANTED TO LEARN! Theoretically and Practically, too.

But it is not like that. I feel for the first time in my life, bored in biology classes. Because I can read all these stuffs at home from a Power Point Presentation. It is not very hard, isn't it?

So, that's my problem! Because I am afraid of what if it will be like that in the topics that I didn't know before?! I don't want to learn Biology in this way! It doesn't seem right and this way cannot help me to improve myself in the way that I planned for my future. Because of that I fell into depression.
I don't know is it abnormal or not but I felt that my dream never comes real because it doesn't even exist! (I don't know how could I say that but I said) I believed that I didn't like my department and all these things are because of that. And if you believe that your dream is not for you actually: That brings depression!

However, it is of course not true! Biology is my hobby, dream etc. And I can't give up my dream just because that I didn't like the teaching ways of it! MEH! And I believe I'm not alone!

So, as a result, I found a solution for myself! However, to be honest, it wasn't so easy! I talked with a lot of friends of mine to understand what I want and what makes me unhappy. And during this period, I lost my control a little bit. However. luckily I wasn't alone during this time and especially my boyfriend talked with me seriously to help me finding my way!

So, I'm okay now! If I didn't like the way of teaching Biology in this year, I'll teach and learn myself! I can do it!
Here are my solutions:

1) Of course I don't give up studying for my classes. Because I need a high GPA, too.

2) But in the same period , I will learn and study for cancer biology by myself!

3) I wrote e-mails two different professors in my department who study for cancer biology to ask help from them. After I talk and discuss with them, I will make a program for myself to read and study different things.

4) In addition to that, I'm trying to take part in a lab in my university. If I can join a cancer lab, it will be completely perfect for me, because I believe that I can learn a lot of different thing especially in a practical way. So, it will be perfect, I hope.

5) After my first Mid-Terms (in 20 days) I will look a summer internship in a lab for myself. I will prepare a CV and send it to different companies and labs! But for doing this I have to learn how can I prepare a good CV. So, after I make a search for that, I will share the tips with you.too.

6) I will take time for my hobbies to be relief! And I'm serious for that because I understand -in these 3 weeks- academic career means making stress and always trying to be successful! So, I need a way to calm myself to keep going! If I don't feel well psychologically , I cannot study enough and I cannot concentrate on my business. So, I need my hobbies and actually I really don't want to give up from them :) Who wants? :)

So, my next post will be about my hobbies and why they make me relief :)

See you soon, and thanks for reading! :)

LOVE YOU <3

The Story of This Week! :) (FIRST LAB, SICKNESS, WELCOME PARTY)

Hello everyone! :)

I know I wrote last time that I will share with you my weekly plan for this week. However, I couldn't as you see. Because this week was more complicated that I thought at the beginning! 

Here is the story:,

Monday began as usual. I took my Physics and Chemistry Classes. After that I bought my Chemistry Lab notes to study before. And than I joined the problem session for Chemistry but honestly it was a disaster! So, that wasn't very useful to learn or to repeat something. After that I came home at 7pm but I was feeling very bad and tired. I couldn't understand what was happening and I tried to study physics a little bit (VECTORS! -_-) and than I went to bed.

Tuesday was my first LAB DAY! :) Because of that I was very cheerful and exited! :) And it was really enjoyable but a little bit tense. Because I always had to be very careful to not break something etc. The topic for this lab was the solution and some basic chemicals. So, as you can see in the pictures, we worked with different chemicals and we tried to define their chemical properties when they are heated, mixed with water and their acidity/basicity. At the end of these experiment we had to solve a problem. Our professor had prepared an unknown mixture for all of us. And to finish the lab, we had to solve what was in it. And as you can guess, we had all different mixtures! :/ 

Honestly, It was very hard at the beginning. Because I broke my test tube, which is fulled by my unknown mixture! I got panicked, of course! :D But after that I could clean it up and solve the mixture! We haven't learned the results but I hope my answers were true!

After the lab day, I got sick! I got fever and I was feeling completely horrible! So, I couldn't go to class next day. At home, I slept all day long and even I did so, I couldn't get well completely :( However, I had to go to class on Thursday because we had a departmental welcome party and a problem session for maths,too. So, I went! 

The welcome party was a pizza party, actually. And the pizzas were very delicious! :D But the things that I've learned about the department during the party were much more important than the pizzas!! :D

Here they are:

>> Firstly, I've learned that I can join an Erasmus Program during my 3.year. So I have to apply at the beginning of next year! And of course, I have to have an enough high GPA and a complete social life to be accepted! The most important thing that I've heard was about the University of Amsterdam! Dım dım dım! What is very important about this university? So, this is the highest ranking university in the list of our Erasmus universities list!! And this college accept only one student in a year! So, this situation really motivates me now!! :) THIS IS MY NEXT GOAL! I'll work and study for this :)

>> Second thing that I've learned about is the Biology Lab Attendance! If we can talk with a professor in our department and can get an acceptance, we can join a research lab even if we are in our first semester! :) So, after I've learned about that, I made a research in our department website. And I saw that we have a research about cancer mutation in genes! Ta daaa! THIS IS MY SECOND NEXT GOAL! I want to get in! As a result, I wrote a very long e-mail about me and why I want to get in this lab to this professor and now I'm waiting for his answer. I made my B Plan, too. If he won't write anything to my e-mail until Tuesday. I'll go his office to introduce myself to him! :) Maybe this can work :)) 

So, my Thursday passed like that and yesterday I had a Bio111 class. In this class, we learn about the people which studied about chemistry or biology and gained a Nobel Price and their researches! It is a very interesting and enjoyable topic, I believe and the class was very instructive, too. 

Yesterday, we talked about Christiane Nüsslein- Volhard and her researches about Drosophila! :) You can read about her life and research here ,too. I really liked her and I hope that you'll, too.

In conclude, now it is weekend! And I need a complete plan to study my lessons! So, I woke up at 8 a.m and made this plan for the weekend :) ! Now, I want to start with physics because on Monday I have a Physics Problem Session! So if I have a problem about some questions, I can ask them here! :)

I wish you all a pleasant and perfect weekend! :)

SEE YOU SOON AND LOVE YOU! :) <3