What Should You Do, If You Feel Depressed?

Hello everyone!

It has been a long week for me. And as you can understand from the title, I was feeling completely depressed and miserable.
To be honest, I don't know why I felt like that, however, it wasn't so easy to solve my problem.

But of course, first of all, I have to explain what my problem was, to you.
So, I believe that there were some days in your lives that you can't figure out what do you really want and for what purpose you study and struggle. These 2 or 3 days were like that for me.

I know that I'm at the beginning of my university education.
However, this department "MOLECULAR BIOLOGY AND GENETICS" has been my dream for almost 5 years. And I gave up different kind of things for this purpose during my life time. So, I was expecting that everything will be amazing! I don't try to say : easy! No! Not easy but different from high school. I don't know, maybe it is just because that I'm in my first semester at the university, but I really don't like much the classes that I have to get. What I mean is:  I get this semester :

Physics,
Physics Lab,
Chemistry
Chemistry Lab,
Mathematics,
Biology 101,
And Biology 111 (in which we discuss about the scientist and their researches who gain Nobel Price)

I know that if I want be a scientist - a good one - I have to know about every type of science. It is okay and I believe that so! As a result, I study for maths, physics and chemistry, too. But the problem that I have is about the biology classes! When I chose this department, I believed that biology classes would be different from the high school. I just thought that we wouldn't just memorize things and wouldn't learn just from different Power Point Presentations like in  high school. I don't know is that just because the first semester or not, but it is disgusting! I always study for maths and physics, and I don't really learn anything in my biology classes!!!
I HATE THAT! Because I love BIOLOGY so much and I really want to do something new in the future! But how can it be possible in this way? :S

I don't try to say that all my classes so easy etc.. NO! They are not easy. On the contrary, I really feel that I have to study all week to get a high GPA. But for what purpose?
And in addition to that, I don't believe that's because the topics in biology, too. Yes, I learned about these topics in high school and read a lot about them. However, it is not important. I didn't choose this department when I don't want to learn about these things more and more times! That was what I want actually!! I just wanted to learn about the topics that I knew before but in a different way. I hoped this time will be more complicated and not just memorizing or something! I JUST WANTED TO LEARN! Theoretically and Practically, too.

But it is not like that. I feel for the first time in my life, bored in biology classes. Because I can read all these stuffs at home from a Power Point Presentation. It is not very hard, isn't it?

So, that's my problem! Because I am afraid of what if it will be like that in the topics that I didn't know before?! I don't want to learn Biology in this way! It doesn't seem right and this way cannot help me to improve myself in the way that I planned for my future. Because of that I fell into depression.
I don't know is it abnormal or not but I felt that my dream never comes real because it doesn't even exist! (I don't know how could I say that but I said) I believed that I didn't like my department and all these things are because of that. And if you believe that your dream is not for you actually: That brings depression!

However, it is of course not true! Biology is my hobby, dream etc. And I can't give up my dream just because that I didn't like the teaching ways of it! MEH! And I believe I'm not alone!

So, as a result, I found a solution for myself! However, to be honest, it wasn't so easy! I talked with a lot of friends of mine to understand what I want and what makes me unhappy. And during this period, I lost my control a little bit. However. luckily I wasn't alone during this time and especially my boyfriend talked with me seriously to help me finding my way!

So, I'm okay now! If I didn't like the way of teaching Biology in this year, I'll teach and learn myself! I can do it!
Here are my solutions:

1) Of course I don't give up studying for my classes. Because I need a high GPA, too.

2) But in the same period , I will learn and study for cancer biology by myself!

3) I wrote e-mails two different professors in my department who study for cancer biology to ask help from them. After I talk and discuss with them, I will make a program for myself to read and study different things.

4) In addition to that, I'm trying to take part in a lab in my university. If I can join a cancer lab, it will be completely perfect for me, because I believe that I can learn a lot of different thing especially in a practical way. So, it will be perfect, I hope.

5) After my first Mid-Terms (in 20 days) I will look a summer internship in a lab for myself. I will prepare a CV and send it to different companies and labs! But for doing this I have to learn how can I prepare a good CV. So, after I make a search for that, I will share the tips with you.too.

6) I will take time for my hobbies to be relief! And I'm serious for that because I understand -in these 3 weeks- academic career means making stress and always trying to be successful! So, I need a way to calm myself to keep going! If I don't feel well psychologically , I cannot study enough and I cannot concentrate on my business. So, I need my hobbies and actually I really don't want to give up from them :) Who wants? :)

So, my next post will be about my hobbies and why they make me relief :)

See you soon, and thanks for reading! :)

LOVE YOU <3